Well, I did it: I went and retired. It’s February 2018 and I decided to keep a log of stuff I do so I can help others when they decide to retire.
Well, actually I didn’t retire, because I intend to be busy over the next few months. We have a live-aboard boat to buy, a lived-in house to sell, and some day-to-day living in the meantime. So I really didn’t retire. I just stopped going to my job.
Mia decided to continue working, probably because she wants no part of my crazy day-to-day schemes. She said she’ll be ready to stop going to her job when the time comes to work hard on implementing the five-year-plan we thought up eight years ago in 2010. (Yeah, it took a bit longer than we originally thought.)
Anywayzz, the first thing I did on this, my first day as a retiree, was sit down for an entire day at the computer and do some research on the internet. A lot of it was watching “experts” on YouTube who live in their moms’ basements, because they really know what they’re talking about!
My research showed that people are more focused and active if they are organized. So I made a list, but figured I would start off easy. It had only two items:
- Wake up
- Pee
My friend Jerry said to make sure I do it in that order.
When my co-workers found out I retired they made me come back to the office to logout of my desktop computer. But when I got there they were all assembled in the main office to surprise me with a really nice party!
That evening Mia and I went out to dinner with our friends Shannon and Al, who gave me a bunch of retirement presents. Yay! Even better: They were all toys! Wait — Let me say it louder with emphasis: THEY WERE ALL TOYS!!!
As I said earlier, research shows that people are more focused and active if they are organized, so I made another list along with the amount of time I would spend each day playing with the toys. Here it is:
- A wooden paddle connected to a rubber band connected to a ball — 10 minutes
- Some dishwashing detergent and a plastic ring-thing for making bubbles — 5 minutes
- Crossword puzzle book with large print — 15 minutes
- A large pen, presumably to use on the large-print crossword puzzle book — same as above
- The names of countries and oceans painted on a squishy ball — 2 minutes
- A wooden truck that I have to build all by myself — 6 minutes
- A wooden birdhouse that I have to build all by myself — 8 minutes
- Finger paints that supposedly wash off walls. (I sure hope so!) — 22 minutes
- A wooden golf game that came with small parts, so it’s rated for ages 6 and up — 35 minutes
- Bingo markers — 3 hours, 1 night per week at Saint Amalgam’s of the Holy Smoke Church Fellowship Hall
- An apron with “ABC” and “123” printed on it, which we all know is really a bib — 43 minutes (not all at once)
- This item was added to make it a nice, round, even dozen — Zero minutes