Mia caught me napping again! That’s the third time today, and the 37th time since my first day of retirement!
An hour or so later she presented me with her own “Honey Do” list and told me NO MORE NAPS!
She’s become a veritable slave driver!
I’ve gotten into the retirement groove over the past month or so and I don’t know how I can do all this stuff — especially without any naps!
Here is her list:
- Wake up
- Pee
- NO MORE NAPS!
- Change batteries in smoke detectors. Previous ones expired in 2003.
- Replace all doorknobs. I’m getting tired of the little ropes.
- Fix the towel bar in the master bath. It’s vertical, should be horizontal.
- Replace toilet seats and covers. Burn the old ones.
- Replace broken tiles on coffee table.
- Re-install ceramic tiles above bed. USE GLUE THIS TIME!
- Caulk tubs, sinks, tiles, and the left corner of your mouth where it’s always dripping and forming that white crusty stuff when it dries.
- Fix sticky windows. (They might just need to be washed.)
- Seal rain gutters. Must do it while it’s raining so you can see where they leak.
- Install mailbox closer to front door. Within reach, if possible, so you don’t have to go outside.
- Replace broken doorbell with a megaphone.
- Replace lighting fixtures with darking fixtures. It’s too bright in here.
- Paint doors, rooms, or the exterior of the house. Pick one. When finished pick another one. Repeat for a total of three times.
- Lubricate bathroom door knob with Crisco.
- Repair your damaged drawers with the needle & thread I left for you on the countertop.
- Replace cabinet hardware with the little ropes you took off the doorknobs.
- Replace broken electrical plug on bubble machine.
- Install baseboards, baritone lumber, tenor kindling, alto twigs, and soprano toothpicks. (A musical reference. Yay!)
- Drywall. Wet it first.
- Replace garage door springs with garage door Slinkys.