In a Bowling Alley Lounge

Happy Shoes. Look at those smiles!

MAX: Geez, willya look who’s come out of the woodwork after fifteen years!

HENRIETTA: How are you, Max? You look pretty silly with that basketball in your stomach.

MAX: Yeah. I put on a few pounds, I guess … You don’t look that bad, though, for a woman your age. What are you now, ninety-five?

HENRIETTA: Fifty, dear. Same age as your shirt.

MAX: Still the same old Henrietta…Tell me, after all these years, how did you find me?

HENRIETTA: Just as I remembered you: Revolting. (Pulls out phone.) Look. I even have a picture. That’s you right there, mostly hidden except for your legs sticking out of the top of the dumpster.

MAX: I remember that day. I was trying to get rid of the dinner you cooked for me. Damn dumpster didn’t want it either. Kept throwing it back at me.

HENRIETTA: And I can see you gave up and never washed it off. I guess you just needed something to remember me by.

MAX: No, I had a mosquito problem. That dinner took care of it, though. Those mosquitos took one sniff of me and high-winged it out of there.

HENRIETTA: You’ll notice I’ve got a clothespin on my nose. They warned me about you at the front door when I came in.

MAX: Is that what that is? I thought you just never got around to having your wart removed.

HENRIETTA: I did. Fifteen years ago, when I divorced you.

MAX: So how’ve you been all these years?

HENRIETTA: Judge for yourself.

MAX: I see. Tough life, huh?

HENRIETTA: Actually, it’s been pretty good lately. I won the lottery.

MAX: (Smiles, extends arms) Baby!

HENRIETTA: Oh, Maxie. I missed you so!

MAX: Let’s go bowl a few … I’ll spot you a hundred pins.

HENRIETTA: Sure! Just do me one favor …

MAX: Anything, Dollface.

HENRIETTA: Change your shoes outside.